Hannah’s story
One of our SPACE speakers and contributors, Hannah McCowen has kindly shared with us her beautiful poem she wrote which reflects on her own journey through infertility and towards acceptance of being childless not by choice below:
Your Journey is not over yet
August 2023 in Cork,
I saw a sign on the hotel wall,
Simply said ‘To be continued,’
It spoke deep into my heart about the future,
That there was a future,
That my journey wasn’t over yet.
It had been many years,
Different people saw different parts of the story,
There’s parts even I can’t remember now,
But every now and then,
A particular day or time of year,
A well meant comment,
When I’m not at my strongest self,
Can still poke a finger
In the scar tissue that formed
Around once fragile pieces of my heart,
That winced when moved,
Excruciating pain, now calmed and stilled,
What used to be hourly and daily,
Now just a few times a year,
I never thought I’d get to here.
At the time, I thought I’d never leave
That impossible location
With no respite from aching loss.
But bit by bit,
Through stepping forward,
Through journeying together,
Through reimagining the future,
Through gentle hours in the garden,
The rhythmic reassurance of long swims,
The respite of cold water,
Through choosing song
Through letting go,
By being seen,
By seeing me,
I’m here,
Where I never thought I’d get to.
And if you’re there,
Come follow me,
The journey, it is possible.
But first make sure that you see you,
That you feel seen.
It is too important to dismiss
The weight of future dreams,
The far reaches of your hopes and longings,
You must feel the depth of what you need to,
For healing to make a start,
Name those things that you have lost,
Don’t cover up your broken heart,
Or hide away the anguish,
Take your time,
Before you move on,
And treat yourself with gentle kindness.
Your journey is not over yet,
Although it may feel impossible now,
Joy may yet surprise you.
March 2026
(copywrite Hannah McCowen - no part of this may be reproduced without express permission)